The Church of Weh believes that:
- Cod — Whereas “God” refers to a fictitious creator who supposedly loves humans, “Cod” refers to a more realistic creator who doesn’t care about us.
- Weh — Cod, whose colloquial name is “Weh” (equivalent to the title “Christ”), laughs hysterically at human absurdity and suffering. He thinks it’s hilarious.
- A loving creator — Any religion that tells you “God is good” or “God loves you” is lying to you. Instead it’s much more likely that our creator is not good and does not love us. He probably doesn’t like any of us! Our entire human history is non-stop evidence of this.
- Suffering — This explains suffering. Not some bullshit about “free-will” and “sin”. The truth is Cod created us to suffer and he laughs about it.
- Cats — Cats are divine Demi-Gods that grace us with their presence if they so choose. We are honored and humbled by the presence of cute kitties.
- Guns — Only Black and Transgender people should be allowed to own guns.
- Religion — Most religions, especially Christianity, are false, disgusting, hypocritical, and dangerous.
- Equality — All humans should be treated equally and with the utmost of compassion, regardless of skin, sexuality, or nationality. Except white republicans– they’re just trash that hopefully will annihilate themselves with their stupidity.
- Morality — There is no right or wrong, good or bad. There is only stuff. We are stuff. Stuff does stuff. Sometimes stuff sucks. It’s happier for all of us though if we just try to be nice to each other. Then stuff sucks a little less. So be nicer. Cod doesn’t give a shit, but we do.
- Science vs Religion — Science is correct, or at least the best we’ve got. Don’t make up mythical stories about magical beings to make yourself feel better about shit you don’t understand. Cod is just the representation of the science and physics that led to you reading this right now. There’s no evidence, none mind you, of any “higher power”, “deity”, or “creator”. There’s lots of evidence, however, of dumbasses making that shit up and dumber-asses believing it.
The Ten Commandments of Weh
- Thou shalt take Weh’s proper name, Cod, in vain as often as possible, Coddammit
- Thou shalt think for yourself and not believe anything a religion tells you just because they said so
- Thou shalt not kill, unless you really want to, but then you’ll probably go to jail
- Thou shalt not covet your neighbor’s significant other, unless they’re a hot piece of ass
- Thou shalt not lie, unless it helps you conceal something you don’t want the other person to know
- Thou shalt keep the Sabbath holy, unless there’s something more fun like football or fishing you need to enjoy that day
- Thou shalt not have any gods before Weh, unless they make you happy
- Thou shalt draxx them sklounst
- Thou shalt not screw the pooch, unless the pooch needs screwin
- Thou shalt not micturate on another person’s rug