Since my birth, (I’ve been told I was born, but I really don’t remember—-so I’ll take Mom at her word) I’ve been told there is a big and mighty white guy with magic powers up in the sky looking down, watching me, supplying my every need, and crying when I fuck something up. By my figuring, God must have dry-eye-syndrome because I can really fuck up a lot of shit.
I just have to wonder though, why didn’t God just intervene and say, “Hey! Don’t fuck up!” right before I fucked up? Is he really watching me and supplying my every need?
I know people who swear by Guardian Angels watching over us all. I think their guardian angels must really suck. Here’s one example of why: recently, an alleged guardian angel showed up AFTER someone accidentally stumbled into a campfire. Guardian angle gets praised. Why? Because gets credit because their friends took them to the hospital for treatment by a well trained hospital staff. Friend praises God and his angel and then gives me the hairy eyeball for praising the doc and nurse who treated Toasty-Toes. Really? I am glad excellent health care allowed some toasted toes to mend, but what did the guardian angel actually do? What else would anyone do but go to the hospital? Why is it offensive for me to praise the hospital stafff?
My circle of friends and fam include multiple peeps in the medical profession. Impressive! Lotta studying required to be a doc or nurse or really any other health profession; and in my former Christian days, I prayed my ass off to help them get through school. They are there, working their asses off and still they get no credit for a good medical deed? Really? Hmm. If only a god and his angels can deliver the goods if we pray just right, then we can do no good on our own, so what’s the Cod-damn point of attempting to do any good? It would only fail. How fucked up is that?
I guess it all balances out, though. If one of those medical professionals fuck something up, I can blame them and they can suffer God’s wrath, for God is holy. Nice. Clean. Convenient. Costs everyone, but me, to believe in this mighty God. What a deal!
But I gotta admit, just believing in math, science, and randomness seems like a much more peaceful, easy path: I fuck up — there’s consequences, someone else fucks up — there’s consequences. Can’t we just work together and peace out without all the drama and alleged angels flying around?
I truly respect the comfort and peace such beliefs bring to some, especially when confronted with tragedy. But such thoughts are very off-putting to those who disagree. Especially when forced to conform to others silly ideas to protect their feelings, while I’m busy dealing with my own. Honestly!
That’s why I joined the Church of Weh. I finally found a god that doesn’t fuck around or bullshit anybody. He(?) simply doesn’t give a fuck about me and laughs heartily at all my fuck-ups. Here’s an honest god I can relate to.
